REALLY?

He was a fearsome man, with shoulders of iron and muscles like an ox. He was a head taller than most men, and his fists could tear a thousand phone books at once. His roundhouse kick was the stuff of legends, and even the bogeyman feared him. He has never cried in his entire life, even though his tears could cure cancer. He is the only one who can divide by zero, and he has counted to infinity...twice. He has destroyed the periodic table, as he only recognizes the element of surprise. He got his driver's license at the age of 16...seconds. The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind him in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off. This man...is...CHUCK NORRIS!